- Have strict rules and expectations.
- Very demanding, but not responsive.
- Don't express much warmth or nurturing.
- Utilize punishments with little or no explanation.
- Don't give children choices or options.
If you read my last blog then you will notice that authoritarian and permissive parenting are two polar opposite ways to raise your child. One is very lenient and the other is very strict.
Speaking of strict, here's a clip of the show "World's strictest Parents." Again, the show takes unruly kids(who most likely have parents who utilize a permissive approach ) and puts them in the home of strict parents whom rules they must follow.
I must warn you- the episode below is a clip from the show on BBC, which apparently doesn't censor its television so there's expletives said by the "unruly teens". The clip is still great because the kids are from Britain and the parents are from Alabama,USA so there's a cultural difference as well as parental style difference.
It also shows that authoritarian parents can be loving and responsive, opposite of what some people think. Below is the background history of the kids who will live with the new "strict" parents.
Authoritarian parents feel it is their obligation to operate full control over majority of their child's life. The Authoritarian parents from what I've read are usually deeply religious people who govern their household from teachings in the bible. Some people argue that authoritarian parenting is great because the research shows "kids raised by authoritarian parents are not likely to engage in antisocial activities (exp: drug and alcohol abuse, vandalism, gangs)."
In the next clip the parents meet the "new kids" and they explain the rules of the house. Of course, the teens are opposed to this new standard of living and start to show signs of rebellion early on.
The Authoritarian parents divulge their expectations and obligations to their new "family" members and everyone begins the 8 day journey.
I actually admire the dad's parenting style. He exerts his power in a loving manner and it appears he's genuinely cares about the overall well being of his family. If I had to place his approach in a category, it would be authoritarian/authoritative.
Authoritative is the last parenting style we will explore and discuss in the next blog.
I wonder if parenting styles are independent of context. If parents determine the parenting style or if the style develops as a response to the family dynamic, at least part of the time. That is, individual children probably push parents toward different styles by their behavior. So, perhaps a parenting style is really a collaborative family choice or creation?
ReplyDeleteI can say from experience that authoritative parenting can leave scars. My mother was raised by tyrant parents. One night her mother came home and did not like the cleaning job my mother had done in the shower. She took a hairbrush and whacked mom quite a few times. She was yelled at for most anything that upset my grandparents. My mother had been born during WWII when my grandfather was in the army oversees. When he came home from the war, he was a changed man. Mother said every time he looked at her, he was reminded of the war.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, my mother never could talk to anyone about the abuse. When she had me she did not know how to raise me any different than how she was raised. Yes, I got the same treatment, hairbrush and all.
I think parents mostly discipline based on how they were raised, either to do the same as what was done to them, or they discipline the polar opposite. "I never want my child to fear me or know that kind of pain." I never wanted to be that way when I had children.
I watched the clips and enjoyed how the British teens were changing their attitudes because they realized they are more fortunate than they think. Authoritative parenting style in my opinion yields better outcome with children showing more respect given that the parents also shows the children that they care and love them too.
ReplyDeleteValues start in the home and it was a great introduction for the British teens to understand the the rules and expectations in the home. Yes, at first they could not believe it but they started to get used to the way the home is conducted.
The issue with the British girl was that her family was breaking up and it was like she had lost her parents and communication. The issue with the British boy was that he told his parents what to do and they were more like permissive and allowed him to do whatever and say whatever he wants. It seemed like he had no rules to follow and there was no discipline for him. He did not care because he did not have to think about how his comments affected his parents.
These teens are not bad teens as stated by the dad in Alabama. They needed to experience the opposite side of the world and parenting style to appreciate what they have and treat their parents with respect. The teens needed to learn the lesson of respect.