Uninvolved parenting also known as neglectful parenting is somewhat self explanatory. These parents require few if any demands on the child and they are neither responsive nor loving. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind established the first three theories of parenting styles and researchers Maccoby and Martin expanded the theories into four which includes uninvolved parenting
- Are emotionally distant from their children
- Offer little or no supervision
- Show little warmth, love and affection towards their children
- Have few or no expectations or demands for behavior
- Don't attend school events and parent-teacher conferences
- May intentionally avoid their children
- Are often too overwhelmed by their own problems to deal with their children
It seems to me as though uninvolved parents/neglectful parents are leaving their child to figure out how to move about the world without any guidance and support. Heidi Riggio, assistant professor of Psychology at Cal State L.A notes in her article on "Paranoid Thinking,Quality of Relationships With Parents, and Social Outcomes Among Young Adults " that:
Parents serve as important sources of social support during young adulthood, and parental warmth and acceptance have been linked to many positive outcomes in young adulthood, including better psychological adjustment and less loneliness"
Because of the adult's lax in their responsibility of raising a child to become a responsible citizen of the world, the children often:
- Fear becoming dependent on other people
- Are often emotionally withdrawn
- Tend to exhibit more delinquency during adolescence
- Feel fear, anxiety or stress due to the lack of family support
- Have an increased risk of substance abuse
The parents behavior could also be the result of them being neglected when they were children.
With so many elements in play, parents must understand that how they raise and interact with their child will effect the child's interactions with the world around him. As a parent, I can't stress enough the child's need for emotional support and boundaries.
In my next blog, we can explore newer scripted shows that display other forms of parenting.
On a lighter note, here's a cartoon clip of extreme unresponsive parenting from one of modern day's favorite smut cartoon "Family Guy".
I must agree, I believe parents play an important role in shaping children and their psychological well being. I remember my freshman year in psychology seeing various experiments that confirm the idea that parenting and nurturing play a huge role in the well being of children. Bowlby was a psychologist who strongly believed children searched for comfort in their parents and needed it to be healthy. This he believed helped build an attachment to the parents. My mother and I have an extremely close relationship and it has been a big reason I have come so far in my life. However I have no relationship with my father and I know this is because he did not have a good relationship with his parents. For this reason I do believe neglectful patterns are handed down from what the parents have gone through. Also I loved the clip you put on this blog, Family Guy is my favorite show! They have a great way of bringing truth out in comedy. By the way has doing these blogs opened your eyes to techniques you could use with your daughter that might be better?
ReplyDeleteThanks for responding. It's nice to know you have a great relationship with your mother. Has it always been that way? My relationship with my mom was great until a became a teenager. We often had different views on many topics like hanging out with friends, homework and boys which caused for a mini Civil War in our home; however once I had a child, I understood her reason for wanting to protect me. I'm proud to say today I have a great blossoming relationship with her and I often come to her for advice or even a shoulder.
ReplyDeleteI've come across family members who are uninvolved parents and it's pretty sad, especially for the kids. As far as the adults are concerned, at first I feel angry and disgusted but a part of me sees them repeating the cycle so I end up with a bit of empathy for them. A cycle is hard to break without persistance and recognition of actions.
To answer your question- Writing the blog so far has allowed me to somewhat categorize what I feel is my parenting style but I haven't really wrote any techniques..but that sounds like a wonderful idea for a future blog. I would love to explore techniques on how to talk with your kids about sex. I have a daughter going to the 7th grade and some of her peers are sexually active and I know this because they were sexually active when I was in school so that topic will be interesting and controversial.
Thanks for posing the question, I think I will write on that topic soon.
Take care.
It is a shame for parents to become neglectful and uninvolved with their children. Times has changed and most parent's have excuses. One excuse is continuously used is their increasing working hours to pay the bills and they do not have time. When parents become uninvolved with their children then their is no form of bond or attachment. The relationship is strained and the conversations probably is nonexistent.
ReplyDeleteThe children involved in the Columbine High School were making plans to shoot other children and their parents had no idea what was going on. They mentioned they did secret activities in the garage. They couldn't even tell their parents that other children in school were bullying them. What happened was a tragedy and the parents felt ashamed that they did not even have the slightest inclination that their children felt that way. I remembered watching a video about the shootings and somebody interviewed one of the parents. The parent responded, "I didn't even know what was going on with my son." Now, how can the parent not know what was going on in their home? Simply, because they were too busy living their lives and not having time for their children.
Other parents who are neglectful would just spend money and make up for the time they have to work. The cycle should break and we should get our priorities straight because parents need to spend time developing healthy relationships with their children. It should not take a village to raise children but in most cases it is when parents fail to do their job.
It is unfortunate in this day and age that the neglecting of children is a major concern. I have seen parents in the grocery store and at restaurants ignoring their child as he/she is running around the place and acting like a wild child. Twin feral children were found in the wild once and they never could learn to communicate because they had no one to teach them. They were past the age of learning a language and were institutionalized. So many parents have a degree but did he/she learn in Sociology class this story?
ReplyDeleteIn the parents corner, he/she may be so overworked and stretched to the limit that he/she may not have enough energy left to discipline the child/children. I have a friend that works so many hours for the sheriff's department that she has no energy or desire left to get her children to settle down. She wants to be friends with them and does not want them to be angry with her so she lets them do whatever they want.
Kids want direction and to know that their parents love them enough to tell them what is right and what is wrong. How else will they learn?
Melanie is right. Lots of neglectful parents are so pressed these days by to much work, too much economic pressure, too many obligations that parenting suffers. I'm sure there are plenty of bad parents, but lots of good ones are too pressed for energy and resources. It is Saturday afternoon and I'm reading student blogs while my 7 year old is watching a movie; my wife has been preparing Monday's class non stop since 6:00AM. I'm sure the same story holds for lots of you. The average American worker works about a month a year more than most other workers in industrialized countries. No wonder we end up "neglectful." I am NOT saying neglectful parenting is okay, or not a parent's fault. But it is also a consequence of conscious social and political decisions and policies.
ReplyDelete