Permissive Parenting- Is it considered "lazy"?

Welcome back to “Parenting in the 21^st Century”. I stated in my last blog we would discuss both shows “SuperNanny” and “World’s strictest parents” collectively ; however I find it best to dedicate one show for each post.

To begin, I’d like to first give you a background on a theory of parenting style called Permissive Parenting.

Diane Baumrind is a developmental psychologist who established three theories of parenting styles(permissive parenting included) based on research she conducted in the 1960’s. Kendra Cherry, psychology educator and writer for About.com, offered a quaint summary shown below:

During the early 1960s, Psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children (Baumrind, 1967). Using naturalistic observation, parental interviews and other research methods, she identified four important dimensions of parenting:

• Disciplinary strategies
• Warmth and nurturing
• Communication styles
• Expectations of maturity and control  

Based on these dimensions, Baumrind suggested that the majority of parents display one of three different parenting styles- permissive, ,authoritarian and authoritative.

Permissive parenting is when parent(s) require very few demands from their child(ren). According to Baumrind, "The permissive parent attempts to behave in a non punitive,acceptant and affirmative manner toward the child’s impulses,desires and actions. She makes few demands for household responsibility and orderly behavior..." Cherry further adds "permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation."

Let’s take a look at the introduction clip of “Nanny Jo” as she meets the Orm family whom consist of  mom , dad and three sons aged 8,6 and 3. Mom is a classic example of a permissive parent.

I imagine some of you either know a parent like this or was perhaps parented in this fashion but for those of you who don't- count your lucky stars! This household is chaotic yet loving; but mom's permissive parenting style obviously isn't working for her. My heart goes out to her because she has her hands full with those boys. 

I agree with Baumrind  that a lack of structure and discipline could lead a child down a path of disregard for rules and people in a society full of them. Mom and Dad need to get more involved and set boundaries and standards for their boys.

I am the byproduct of a "permissive parent". My dad lived in another state and did so for most of my pre-teen and teenage years and perhaps it was easier for my mom to let me do what I wanted.  For instance, when I was in high school I had freedoms some teens didn't get unless they were already off to college or living on their own. 

As I became a woman and a mother myself, I consider permissive parenting as "lazy parenting." If I had to put my own parenting into a category, it most certainly isn't permissive.  I'll get to my own parenting style in a later blog.

Embedded are links which show Nanny Jo as she arrives to the Orm home for an observation which leads to the sit down talk with the parents as well as suggestions on ways to improve.

Here's a clip that showcases one of Nanny Jo's techniques- Be an example for your child.

 This technique of being a good example for your child by emulating what you want your child to do offers a permissive parent a way to gain some control to make sure her kids have good eating habits without being too forceful.


In my next blog, I'll explore another theory of parenting style called Authoritarian Parenting. To demonstrate characteristics of an authoritarian parent, we'll look at episodes from "World's strictest parents."