Some of you may remember as a child “the birds and the bees” talk with your parents while others possibly were not told anything and a few may have gotten all the info with no hesitation. Parenting adolescents and talking about sexual issues and concerns with them may be awkward, but necessary.
Studies show that adolescents tend to engage in sexual behaviors in a progressive format, from kissing and petting to oral sex and intercourse (Feldman, Turner, and Araujo, 1999); thus, kissing and other gateway behaviors may predict future sexual behavior, therefore it may be important for parents to discuss these issues prior to adolescence.
Since Parenting in the 21st century is our central theme, here’s a video clip from ABC channel 15’s show “Smart Family”. The hosts sit down with an expert to gain advice on the subject.
According to an article written in the New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, earlier studies to measure parent-adolescent communication about sex include conducting one-item survey questions and relying on one reporter to offer their perspective. This yes-no feedback as well as only the perspective of one person(either child or parent) does not result in very rich or meaningful data.
Therefore, researchers have now developed questionnaires that broaden the definition of what constitutes sex-related communication and are considering variables other than frequency. They are now beginning to contextualize communication about sex related topics within a larger framework of general parent-child communication and are now using innovative methodologies such as videotaped conversations, interviews, ethnography and typologies to understand parent-adolescent conversations about sex.
Below is a episode on “The Tyra Banks Show” which has mothers and their daughters discussing sex. In the episode Tyra poses some very interesting questions and there's commentary between the adults and the teens. The episode even discusses appropriate conversations for the pre-adolescents. I found it extremely sad that a 15 year old revealed that she "thinks" she's had sex with 8 partners! That type of behavior is extremely high risk and examples as such are all reason enough to immerse yourself in your child's life and maintain control as they grow up.
I think sex and the way it is treated by our society is really interesting. There are so many taboos surrounding it, yet it is in my opinion one of the most natural and human activities. The taboos surrounding sex can really cause some problems, especially as you point out with young people. If we were all more open and reasonable about sex I think a lot of good would be done.
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